Elf on Her Shelf

Donnie has a plan. Pawn a few things from his best friend's house, flip the money at the track, and put everything back before anyone notices. The food truck deposit is covered. The presents are wrapped. The scheme is airtight.

Then his best friend's mother catches it all on camera.

Britt Callahan is forty-two, recently widowed, and smarter than every man in her orbit gives her credit for. She's been watching her Elf on the Shelf footage all month, and she knows exactly what's been going on in her house — including what Donnie does on her couch after her son goes to bed.

It's Christmas Eve. Her son is passed out upstairs. Her boyfriend thinks she's asleep. Donnie's girlfriend is two hundred miles away.

Britt pours the bourbon. She has terms.

Those terms make this smut